Fear and Loathing and the Happy Holidays
I know. It's only October 2nd. But I am freaked out. Shopko announced that it is proudly displaying their Holiday decorations already. It's not even Halloween yet dammit.
I often wonder if there needs to be a program for people like me. Recovering Flesh-Eaters or something. The first step would definitely be Thanksgiving. (Side note: Thanksgiving does bug me in more ways than just eating turkey. It is, in fact, a reminder and celebration of American's becoming ethnocentric jerks. I think blankets with small pox. Okay, back to the bird) There are a couple obvious solutions. I could bring my own dish and then I at least have one thing to eat. I could go over and help MIL cook in the morning and come armed with soy milk and Nature's Balance. I could make a Tofurky holiday dinner. These are all fantastic ideas, except that I don't think the family is buying. I could offer to make a couple of things and not tell them it is vegan, but when I eat it they will all know.
This is what is scary...I don't think I can be at the table with the turkey. I do okay around meat that doesn't look like meat. I don't do well with meat that still looks exactly like the animal it is. I don't even know if I can begin to explain this to my family.
Next comes Christmas. Normally we celebrate Christmas Eve at our house. It is big enough for both sides of our family, and I don't have to worry about boarding the dogs or anything. Normally MIL bring's ham. I am not sure I can even begin to tell them I don't want ham in the house. I know it's my house and I should be able to do what ever the fuck I want, but I also know that if I say "no meat" I am being "selfish" or "dramatic" or some other adjective. (This brings forth a funny thought. Why is it that no one feels guilty when I have nothing to eat? Why isn't that selfish?) I think the easiest option I have for Christmas is not having it at my house any more. Which is sad, because I actually kind of enjoy it. I can't even believe I said that out loud. Or in blog, shit now it's in writing.
Thoughts?
7 comments:
Ditch the whole thing and join me in Virginia. Seriously.
Drasch... big hugs to you... thank you for caring...
You have to do what you have to do. You can't take care of or worry about other people's feelings and set a boundary at the same time. People often make innane comments because they are feeling defensive, insecure about their own choices and less than perfect--a bit threatened by your decision. It often deflects from their own choices.
Don't worry--they'll get over it. My family did. Just serve them awesome vegan chow!
Hey I went to Subway today, (don't know if their buns are ok.....) but they had these new veggie patty things there and they were pretty good! At least I think they are new because I've looked at their menu a million times and never saw it before. Dress it up with all sorts of veggies and yum!!
I have no easy suggestions for you. It all really depends on how close you are to your family. I don't come from a close family so post-vegan I just didn't show up for family gatherings and no one was offended.
As for hosting at your house, I think in order for peace of mind, it's got to be all vegan. You may suffer the consequences of being labelled selfish or whatever, but I think it's worth it. After all, it is your house, your rules. Their comments and attitudes will pass over time.
I can't be around the carcass, either. Last year was my first TG as a vegan. We were having dinner at my parents' friend's house and the dood was trying to have a conversationg with my whilst hacking up a dead bird. It was all I could do not to cry.
I think the turkeys are worse because they still look like the animal they once were.
Drasch,
Don't worry about Thanksgiving. Either come after the main course, or make an excuse and not come that day but before or after and have a mini vegan holiday with them at your house. Trust me.
Hubby and I went to my parents' house for the holiday after we went veg. Even though we sat at a different table, the site of the whole bird sitting there was just too disturbing. It really ruined everything. There was no point in us being there. They were focused on the meal - the bird - anyway. So the next year we opted out and were much happier. We went to an omni friend's house who helped us have a vegan feast, and it was awesome.
So learn from our mistake. Just make an excuse and don't go. It'll be less traumatic than going.
---ganymeder
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