A Few Words on Depression

So as my five readers know, I have been in a little bit of a funk lately. I have been dealing with depression for a while now and going through some changes (I got my period!!! lolz). That sounded funny. What I meant is we are adjusting meds and all kind of fun stuff. In light of this, there are a few things that I think people should know.

1. First off, it's more than being "down" or in a bad mood. It's not like being sad. In fact, unless you've been there it is almost impossible to explain.

2. When a person is diagnosed with depression, they can't just snap out of it. The last thing some one who is depressed wants to hear is why they shouldn't be depressed. I know I have a decent job, a decent husband (most of the time), dogs I love, a sport I love, and a cause I love. I know I shouldn't be depressed.

3. It's not fun to be depressed. We aren't doing it to get attention, to be emo, or because it's cool. No one wants to be depressed.

4. Some people talk very openly about their depression (sometimes me) and some people hide it. Don't push it.

5. It's hard to live with/be friends with/work with some on who is depressed. Here is a really great website with some information.

So...there you have it. Word to your moms.

Meh

That's the only word I can use to describe myself right now. I seem to be stuck in this fucking mood that I can't seem to shake.

The Alkaline Trio song Mr. Chainsaw has a verse that sums up my general sense of being:

I guess I should be one to talk

There's nights that I can't even walk

There's days I couldn't give a fuck

And in between is where I'm stuck

Wow...that's cold.

I am not sure what I was expecting, but man it was really freezing. Possibly colder than I have ever been in my life. Cold enough to make me jump in a hot tub full of men I had never met before (some of them donning banana-hammocks) to warm up.

I am hoping to have some pictures of the event soon. Okay, that's a complete lie. I don't really want to see pictures of myself, but there have been requests.

I will say that I'll probably do it again next year. It was quick and is for a fantastic cause.

I should also be sleeping. I have been having these asinine attacks of insomnia. I don't think the lap top purchase has helped this at all.

I also went to a Brew City Bruisers bout on Saturday night. It was some great derby and a really good time. It was a long day, jumping in the lake and then making the trek to Milwaukee. In a snow storm. With out shoes. Okay. We had shoes.

Ouch...

Practice tonight was rough. Holy man am I sore. I am almost as sore as I was the first time I practiced. We were doing a lot of endurance and speed drills tonight. Which is good because I definitely need to work on that. I think I am getting faster but it is hard to tell. Captains don't often get compliments, they give them. I wonder if some one could tape practice so I could see.

Then when I get home late like this, I am still all wired from practice and hungry. Makes it hard to sleep.

That was a little whiny and woe is me like. I don't want to be woe is me.

I also think that it is important you know that I hate Activia commercials. Seriously, eat enough veggies and fiber and you'll poop. And what exactly does irregular mean? Are we talking frequency? Shape? Amount? I think it is just a stupid way to say constipated. Eat. Veggies.

I am not even sure where my train of thought is right now. I don't think that it has even pulled into the station . Good night my little lambs.

Busy, Busy, Busy

That's me! It's always that way the week before a bout.

Our Valentines Day Love Hurts bout went awesome. We had a great turnout, played some kick ass derby, and had a great time. My family came and some friends who had never seen a bout before. I hope they had fun, I know I did.

I need to start working on my endurance some more. I a not looking forward to this as it most likely involves sprints. And I don't so much like running.

2 Years

So yesterday was my two year veganniversary. I am not sure why I remember the exact date, except that it was a pretty big deal at the time.

Now, people remember to think of me when choosing a restaurant. If some one is baking something, they at least think to ask if there is something I like instead. This year, my boss gave me a mini-diet coke for Christmas, instead of a cookie like everyone else received. It was cute. (I also just realized it sounds like I work in a fucking kindergarten, I don't.)

I still dread holidays and summer cook outs. I still get irked when I get teased. I do get teased much less so that's a plus.

I do have to say, going vegan is one of the best things I have ever done for myself.

Freezin for a Reason...

I am not sure how I got coaxed into this one, but I will be jumping in a frozen lake on February 21st to support the Special Olympics of WI. A bunch of girls and a couple guys from Roller Derby are jumping.


Once again, if you pledge, I will write a blog entry about anything that you request. ONE thing. Unless it's a really big donation, then maybe two. ;)

So thanks in advance for your support.
https://www.specialolympicswisconsin.org/pp09/pledge.asp?id_p=3890