The Boca Chick'n Pattie Incident

I almost lost my mind. It was crazy.

DH and I went grocery shopping together. This isn't usually a chore that we share, quite frankly because we both hate grocery shopping so much, it's best to separate us.

As I have stated in the past, GB doesn't have a lot of vegan friendly choices in restaurants and it is very hard to search the speciality stuff out in grocery stores. One of the stores here does have a "natural and organic" section which is where all the stuff like Sour Supreme, Veganaise, and the fake meats are located. I spend a lot of time in that section.

I went to the frozen area of this section to get my Boca Chick'n patties, they are my fave. They are easy to cook, make a good lunch, and are delish. I picked up a box and noticed that it didn't have the word VEGAN on the side of the box that it normally does. This was enough to force me to check the ingredient list. And read the whole thing. Thank God I looked because for some odd reason these had egg whites in them. AND it didn't include the eggs in the allergen information. (Look at the side of most foods by the ingredients and you will see the little disclaimer "Contains: WHEAT, SOY, AND DAIRY. Usually it says eggs here too. My favorite is that peanut butter says "Contains: PEANUTS. Thanks) I checked the nuggets, same thing.

Now, I am pissed. I hate it when stupid shit makes me become the angry vegan. But come on, why would they change something and put eggs in it? Wouldn't that make it more expensive? Puh-leeze. My husband looks at me and knows not to touch on it. So I go home angry and pattie-less.

The next day I decide to venture to a different store. They also have a nice natural foods section, and this store has the patties sans eggs. I bought like ten. And I wish I was kidding, but this was the dumbest shopping trip ever. I spent $60 on fake chick'n, nutritional yeast, Clif bars, and smut mags. (I had to know about Pete and Ashlee's wedding!)

Last night I decided to figure out what was going on. If they were adding eggs to all these products I needed to know now so I could buy all of them. Here's what it boils down to. The ones with eggs come in a tan box and are organic. Not Vegan. The ones in the red box are probably genetically engineered but don't have eggs. Vegan. This world is a messed up little place.

VEGAN

NOT VEGAN!

2 weeks

I think that these updates are getting kind of boring. It's been two weeks, I haven't smoked. I don't even really think about it any more.

It's weird, after the first week, it was actually easier for me to do this than it was to go vegan. I think that being vegan is much more freaky than smoking. I think people think that is more of an oddity.

What really doesn't make sense in this whole equation is being vegan is good. It's good for me, good for animals, good for the environment, it just generally rules. Smoking on the other hand is not good. In fact smoking is bad. Yet, people would more often taunt me about being vegan than they would about smoking.

In a perfect world, complete strangers would stare at me as I went outside to smoke, instead of when I order my pizza with out cheese.

11 days and no one's dead yet.

At least not on account of me.

I haven't had a cigarette in 11 days. That's just crazy. My four readers know that I *always* had a cigarette in hand. Always. Now I don't. It's weird.

I talked to the doc and I can wean myself off the Chantix. Thank you jeebus. I am still only sleeping like three hours at a pop. It is fantastic when your night of sleep is actually a series of naps. Last night was really bad. I could almost take a nap right now.

My vegan friend Bri - ON was going to quit smoking after we got back from Chicago. I explained to him, that for me quitting smoking was very similar to going vegan. Not so much the reasons behind it. I mean there are tons of ethical reasons to quit smoking, but that wasn't my motivation.

Let me try and make sense of this. Before I went vegan, I ate A LOT of cheese. When I decided to go vegan, I didn't suddenly lose my taste for cheese. In other words, I didn't NOT want to eat cheese. I just didn't because for me it was the ethical thing to do. Same with smoking. I still WANT to smoke. More often than not, I want to smoke. But I know, even if I have one puff, I will be right back where I started. So I don't smoke.

Does that make any sense?

I do wish that I felt better. I am still hacking a lot and now my sinus are bad today. I have been slacking with the nettie pot, so I am going to have to be better at keeping that up. Sleep would help tremendously.

I have also had a bunch of kick ass people for support. Alabaster Mom, Mary, and Miss Leslie on line have been great. I have an awesome support system with my derby girls as well. You all rule. And my freaks. And I would like to thank the academy. Just kidding.

6 Days and Counting

I think I am doing it. My husband even admitted to me that he was randomly surprised. I did have a few choice words with my FIL who I had the pleasure of seeing on Saturday. I told him that I quit, he asked for how long, and I said, since Wednesday. He proceeded to tell me that I shouldn't bother telling people if it had only been three days. I asked him how long he smoked and if he ever tried to quit. I also asked if there were any fifteen year habits he had that he wanted to try and break. He shut up.

I do have to admit, I like the smell of smoke still. I will go outside to stand with people who are smoking because I think it smells so delicious. Which I know makes me a freak.

I am trying to get a hold of my doc to see if I can go off the Chantix. I will keep using the website, because I think that it's awesome, but the side effects are starting to out weigh the benefits at this point. I only sleep for two hours at a time, I can't poop, and I have waaaaaaaaaay messed up dreams. I think even if I could lower the dose, that would help too. I'll keep you posted on that.

I think that's all the news here. Hopefully this won't turn into a quit smoking blog ;)

Day Three

I feel a little better I guess. I had a nervous breakdown yesterday. Or is that another nervous breakdown? I am not sure. Some stuff went down at practice that wasn't cool and because I am oversensitive, it made me feel like shit.

I feel very sorry for my husband. He is taking the brunt of this and I know there is now way possible that he knows what this is like. It's kind of hard when you want to stab yourself in the eye. Explain that to some one. He wants me to go out tonight, but I am not sure yet if I am comfortable with it or not.

Twenty, Twenty, Twenty Four Hours to Go....

Yeah, I'd like to be sedated.

It has been 24 hours since my last cigarette. I am a little cranky, and I wanted to take out a woman at the grocery store today, but that's not all that odd. I do that on a normal day.

I am VERY thirsty, which I don't quite understand. I think it has to do with sucking out of a straw. Which is fun to say.

In general, this sucks.

Wowza

Today has been rough. I’m not going to lie. Tomorrow is going to be even harder I would bet. It’s130 and I have only had two cigarettes today. This for me is huge. Normally I have two on the way to work.

The Chantix is really messing with my sleeping patterns, more so than I expected. Even when I sleep, I am having really messed up dreams and I wake up feeling like I ran a marathon. (Which is an odd thing for me since I have never ran a mile much less a marathon). It must be helping though, because although this sucks today, it isn’t nearly as bad as I expected. I did the math yesterday and determined that I was spending close to $1300 a year on cigarettes. That’s just absolutely absurd. That’s about half of a decent car payment. And that number is conservative.

The hardest thing right now is just changing habits. I normally smoke and stand outside when I let the dogs out. Yesterday I did wall sits and lunges instead. It was a weird feeling. My car is a huge trigger point and where I struggle the most. It is just such a normal force of habit thing. I am going to clean my car out this evening, vacuum, armor-all, febreeze, the whole shebang. Hopefully this will help me fight the urge to smoke in the car. I think I might put some straws or lolly pops or something in the car so that I have something to do with my hands.

The whole experience is really weird. I don’t know what I was expecting, since I have been smoking for 15 years. I guess I didn’t realize what a part of me it became. And the control it has over me is disgusting.

Chicago

Was so fun. When we finally got there.

First things first, I had to pick a friend up at the airport. Got her and then we were to head to the Chicago Diner. Which is easier said than done. Got to the diner, ate a really good Philly "Steak" and Cheeze and mashed potato's and a shake. There was a mix up with my food, so I also had to pay nothing to eat this bounty.

Okay, on to our hotel in China Town. Now that I know where to go, I can't believe we got as lost as we did. I will say this, the words "Three hour tour" have a whole different meaning to Sarah and I now. Here are the highlights of our Tour of Chitown:

1. A sign that said "Big Buns and Pitas"

2. A flock of Segways. Not kidding like 20 of them.

3. A combination tanning salon/movie rental place.

4. Northwestern U. (Yeah, I know, this is in another town)

We learned that if you are following signs, make sure you know what CITY the downtown sign is referring and pointing.

When we FINALLY (and this is pretty much my fault) got to our hotel in China Town it was three hours later and we were woofed. Our hotel was pretty much a dorm room. Two twin beds, a closet, bathroom with shower stall, and a tv with a dresser. But it was clean, in a okay neighborhood, and for $90 a night, totally worth it. We were even able to find a parking spot so I didn't have to pay to park. Score.

That was essentially Thursday. Friday a bunch of people went to the Cubs game, but my friend Bri-ON and I weren't into it. He and I were going to go to a Hookah Bar, but they were all closed. We went to a regular bar instead and got drunk on PBR and he kicked my ass at darts. We ate at the diner again. I almost got sick. OOOH I also bought a really cool bike messenger bag (even though I am a poser) that I have been using as a purse. We went to a little get together at a friends apartment, got some puppy lovin and some Teese. We also tried to find a bar on Friday night which was easier said than done. Apparently downtown Chicago shuts down at midnight. We took our only scary bus ride back to China Town and crashed.

Sat we slept in and then went to Soul Vegetarian. Our food was sooooooooooooooooo good it is getting a post all it's own. It was kind of hard to find, but so worth the trip. I haven't had vegan food like this anywhere. We then headed to Veggie Bite, a vegan fast food restaurant. I was still full from Soul Veg so I didn't eat anything, but it is completely cool that they have vegan fast food. We headed to the Windy City Rollers bout, which was amazing. They make us look just a tad slow (insert sarcasim). Then we found a bar, drank, and then went home again. Oooh we also stopped for diner food at a place call The Pick Me Up Cafe. Can you say vegan french toast, pancakes, and hash browns? YUM.

Sunday, I came back. Essentially it was a weekend of eating and drinking, but it was nice to be around vegans. It was nice to be around people that were annoyed by the same things and had the same eating habits and not having to ask if there is dairy in this. I learned a lot about public transportation and can navigate a subway like a true city girl. It was also great to meet people irl that I have been talking to for over a year online.

Yay Chicago!

I am leaving for Chicago tomorrow to meet some freaky vegans. I am vair excited to meet some people that I have socialized with virtually irl as the kids say today. I am also excited to go to the Chicago Diner. Somebody asked if I would mind going twice. Um, no. Could we go twice a day for the four days I am there?





I went shopping for food tonight and I am not a model vegan. I am taking A LOT of junk food with me. A lot.








We are also going to a Windy City Rollers derby bout so I am pretty excited for that. The only bout I have ever watched is the Exposition bout of our league and it was everyones first time. They were derby virgins.

The end is near...

Or "The day that hell froze over"

This blog entry commemorates two pretty cool events in my life that are approaching quickly.

First things first (and this is the hell freezing over part) I am quitting smoking. My official date is 5/14 or next Wednesday. I am going to have the assistance of Pfizer, who is charging me out of the asshole for it. My doc prescribed Chantix back at the beginning of the year, I have just been too chicken to try. Well, after my Chicago Vegan Freak trip, I am quitting and I really want to. I am hoping it helps my sinuses, skating, and saves us some money as well.

I really debated on if I was going to blog about this or not. This is a pretty big step for me. I have been smoking for approximately half my life. I don't know how non-smokers can think that it is easy to kick a 15 year long habit. That's right folks a 15 year habit. So much in my life is going to have to change. I am going to have to find something different to do while driving. I am probably going to end up giving up diet coke as well, because "Nothing goes with a smoke, quite like a diet coke". I just made that up. Speaking of things that go with smoking, that's half the problem. I heard some one say once that smoking is more addictive than heroin, specifically because you can smoke while doing just about anything. *** Also, when you do heroin, you really don't feel like doing much except heroin. Smoking doesn't do that to most people. You can have a smoke and move on with your day like it's normal. It's pretty fucked up if you ask me. Any hoo, any words of wisdom you can provide would be fantastic.

The second FANTASTIC news is that I get to cut my hair in June. I am not sure I have ever been so excited about something, ever. I have been growing out my hair for a long ass time. I am growing it for Locks of Love and you need ten inches. I am at nine and a quarter. So on 6/20 it's all coming off. Lets look at a progression.

This is from November of 2005:


Okay, I changed my mind. No progression because I don't like any pictures of me ever. So just know that this is how short my hair was then, and now it is long enough that if I put a ponytail at the nape of my neck, I have ten inches to spare.

***I had to come back and add this. Just because I believe that it is fucked up that smoking is socially acceptable (in some cases) thereby making it harder to quit, does not mean I agree with a ban on smoking in public places at all. I believe that private business have the right to allow smoking in their buildings until it is illegal. If you don't want to be around smoke, don't eat there, go there, work there, bowl there, or spend money there.***

My Tenderloin

Bet you never thought you would see that in a vegan blog post. Ha.

So here's the dealio. I am not going to apologize for sucking. I mean I know I suck at blogging, but I feel like chicken little.

So here is the story of my tenderloin. I thought I pulled my groin. I wasn't even aware that girls really had groins until I started derby. Anyway, I thought I pulled it. It hurt a LOT. Like tear inducing a lot. And I don't like to cry, especially around the other derby girls ;).

I met with the chiropractor about two weeks ago and it turns out, its not my groin. It is my psoas. Here is an illustration.



In other words, it is in a really hard place to stretch. When the chiropractor works it, it looks dirty. As I often do, I looked up my psoas on the internets and part of the wikipedia definition includes this:

Significance in Western Cuisine
Based on the anatomy and physiology of a cow, this muscle is the tenderloin, and tends not to be called upon to do a lot of work, thus it remains underdeveloped, resulting in a cut of meat that is known as the most tender. It forms the basis for several succulent dishes, including chateaubriand, filet mignon and Beef Wellington.

Gross. Although it is fun to say that I am stretching my tenderloin.