These Great States

Or something similar.

We just got back from a driving trip to South Carolina. I have a lot of stuff I want to share that I wrote down on the drive, but here are a couple.

First, if you want to see if you can stand being married to some one, spend 12+ hours alone in a car with them. I think Paul Rieser once said that's marriage at high speed. Seriously, you realize how different you are when you spend that much time together.

Second, I think I have figured out the directional issues. It has to do with every one's complete lack of manners in general. Fuckers don't realize that there are people on the road that can't read your mind. Contrary to popular belief. And it's not localized to one state, it's fucking everywhere.

Last, if you are vegan and travel, make sure you fucking plan.

Have a great day. And word to your moms.

What the Fuck?

Seriously. I made the mistake of going out in public again today. We're leaving on vacation tomorrow and driving, so I wanted to make sure I had some food to eat. It's relatively nice here (like 50 degrees or so) and I made the mistake of thinking that people would be out doing fun things in the nice weather.

I was completely wrong. Everyone was shopping today. I would have to assume that it has something to do with Easter tomorrow. No manners, kids fucking running everywhere, and throngs of people wandering aimlessly. I know I am going to sound like a cranky old lady, and that's fine but what the fuck is going on with kids? If I behaved the way I see most kids behaving, I would have been taken to the car slung over my mom's shoulder like a sack of potatoes. I am not sure what's happening, if creating free thinking kids is just leading to a general lack of respect or if parents just don't give a fuck anymore.

Another thing...stop wishing me a happy fucking Easter. The blind assumptions are really starting to piss me off.

**for all the parents I know reading this blog, I'm not talking about you!**

The good news is I am going skating outside today so that may improve my mood. I hope. I also may be getting my tattoo touched up, but we're working on that.

Pretty much, the vast majority of you can fuck off today.

Love, Love, Kiss, Kiss.

Risotto

Risotto is my new dream food.

If you are vegan and you don't know how to make this, do it. Now. It looks hard and some times people make it out to be worse than it seems. I know the dude on Hell's Kitchen is always yelling at the contestants because they wrecked the risotto. I think the key is not to have too much going on at once. It's a lot of pouring and stirring, so if you were cooking a main dish or other food, it could get dicey.

I made a very easy version, combining a couple of recipes. It was a very basic garlic, mushroom, and onion risotto. What I liked about the risotto was, for lack of a classier term, the creaminess. It was the best comfort food I have ever had. It reminds me a little of a hash brown casserole that I used to love before I was vegan. I would have taken a picture of it, but I ate it all.

Risotto. Do it. Now.

Broken Vegan Record

I can't even believe I am going to type this but fish don't grow on trees.

Green Bay has a very large Catholic population. It's lent. So there are people that give up things for the period of lent and of course, don't eat meat on Fridays. Again, I am not sure where we have gone wrong. Last I heard fish still have brains, nervous systems, and a blood stream. I am pretty sure that those describe and animal and not a vegetable.

I started to wonder how this tradition came about. I understand the fasting and giving up luxurious thing, sacrifice, and blah blah blah. What I don't understand is how fish suddenly ended up in the mix. I did what every good blogger does and looked it up on the interwebs. I found a couple of different answers at this website. The actual Code of Canon law says abstinence of meat and doesn't actually define meat. Another answer said that it was easier and less expensive to fish than it was to own and butcher cattle. This mean that the rich were eating "poor" food, thus sacrificing.

I also remember reading something about how the Catholic Church had many followers who earned a living fishing. When it was clear if the fishermen weren't making money, then the church wouldn't make bank, the Pope or God or some one decided fish was okay on Fridays. This way the followers had more money to give to the Church. I can't find much documentation on this, but I am reading a Howard Zinn book, so maybe I'll come back to it.

My point (I think) is that the entire building smells like fucking fish on Friday afternoons. I hate it when people assume I am not eating meat because I am Catholic. Twice I had people tell me the Tuna Casserole was delish and I would probably love something because "of that weird way you eat". (FTR - Tuna casserole has made me ill since about the time I was five. Fucking Gross)

Fucking clueless.

Cats...I know right?

An issue has been under my skin lately. It has to do with the large amount of cats in shelters and the large number of cats that are killed in shelters, simply because no on wants them. In fact, I have heard that most shelters will immediately put any cat not using it's litter box to sleep. Again, this is something that I have heard and it is probably impossible to find statistics to back this up.

A lot of the reason that a cat may not use the litter box is completely preventable. Most cat behavior problems are fixable if not preventable. A lot of people declaw cats as an order of convenience. In fact, I have heard people ask "Why does this cat still have it's claws?" as if after a certain age, the claws just fall off. (I will admit that I ask why dogs aren't spayed or neutered if I notice).

Here's the deal. Declawing cats (or the medical term onychectomy) is not just a removal of the claw. It is the removal of the entire first digit of the toe. The Paw Project is an organization in CA that is dedicated to stopping the mutilation of cats. They give a pretty detailed explanation of the declaw procedure. (I do understand that this will be biased, but shit, so am I). Another website that outlines this information is Cats International.

Here's what gets me: Declawing a cat is simply a convenience measure for the owner. I have literally heard people say "Well, I'd rather have that then have them scratching me (the furniture, the walls, etc)". This floored me. Sometimes I am still surprised at the lack of compassion that people have for companion animals.

I think that cats have it worse. So often cats are portrayed as not fun, serious pets, and assholes in general. If you have ever seen a playful kitten, you know this isn't true. I suspect that people who want a "low maintenance pet" adopt a cat. And in many ways a cat is more self sufficient than a dog, but they still may need attention. They may need training. They need vet care (YES even if they are inside all the time). Cats definitely need to be spayed or neutered.

Love your cats please.

Another Questionable Commercial

I have been off work the past couple of days. This means that I have been watching entirely too much tv. Which means that I am seeing a lot of commercials.

The one that is currently driving me insane is for a product called FurReal Friends. I must warn you when you access this, it's scary. I wasn't aware that this product line had so many different options. I understand the theory behind these toys. In fact, I am pretty sure that if you consider one of these for your children, you should never have a live companion animal.

Here's what disturbs me. Hasbro has the Farm Animal Line. I do have to say that I am thrilled that there isn't a cow or a chicken, but a pig? Come on. What do you say to your children. Okay, you can name this piggy Babe, but in about a year we'll have him for Giftmas dinner? I really struggle with the logic behind this. And what's with the fucking parrots? I have never seen those in a barn. Maybe it's a tropical farm?

Lastly, this country already has a very disposable mentality when it comes to companion animals. I have actually heard people say "Oh, my dog was a purebred so when it ran away, we weren't too worried". I have heard this more than once. I also love "The dog kept running off, so we decided not to go looking". Leash any one? I was making a point. Oh yeah, I hope that toys like this don't increase this countries apathy towards companion animals (well, animals in general). I would love to see toys that encouraged children to take responsibility for the companion animals in their life.

Yeah

I have learned a lot about medication in the past couple of weeks.

Mostly, don't take Lunesta along with Advil cold and sinus. You'll sleep for days. In fact, I am getting ready to go back to bed.

Also, the MRI came back clean. So that's good. For me.

Bad Day's

I really think I am going to have to start keeping a journal to see what gets me down and what determines that I'll have a good day.

Other times I feel like I am doing fine, and then a wave of depression will smack me right in the face. This happened last night, while I was at a birthday celebration for christ sake. I just don't understand it. At all. I fucking hate being this unpredictable. It's not fun for me or those around me, I can guarantee it.

I think I am going to head to bed for the evening. I'll see how long I stay there.

It's a Beautiful Morning

Okay, I lied. It' s still dark out and I am not sure why I am up. I figured I'd take advantage of my insomnia and tell you all a story about a girl and the MRI.

I needed to have an MRI of my head done (insert witty comment here) because my migraines have become progressively worse in the last year or so. I have heard that MRI's can be very hard for people who are claustrophobic. I'm claustrophobic. When I made the appointment, they set me up in the "open" machine. I figured I would be okay.

(I should also indicated here that I have been having a bad week depression-wise, so I cry all the time. It's fantastic.)

I was wrong. I had horrible nightmares about not being able to breath, swelling in the machine so they couldn't get me out, and just the general inability to sleep. I decided Friday morning that I would call the doc and see if they could prescribe something to calm me down. I called around 930. At 1230, I hadn't heard back. This could be a problem because my appointment was at 230 and you usually need to take the Valium an hour before. I get back on the horn to call the doctor and I am on hold for at least fifteen minutes. I kid you not, I checked my cell phone timer thingy.

I finally talked to some on in the doctors office. As we were hopping in the car, they swore they were calling the in the prescription. We arrived at the hospital and no dice. The pharmacy didn't have it. I decided to walk the 500 feet to my neurologists office. That's right folks, 500 feet. It's now almost two. Any way, they finally got their act together, I got my pill, and then I do the changing -questionnaire thing. Then we waited. And waited. And waited some more.

At 315 the nurse finally came in to let me know that there was a sudden influx of emergency MRI's. It was going to be a little longer. This was actually fine by me because the effect of the Valium had finally kicked in. We walked around a little, came back and waited some more, and then they came and got me.

I decided that I was going to back into the room and not look at the machine at all. The technician was surprisingly cool with this and helped me in the bed, covered my eyes with a towel, and made sure I was comfortable. The actual MRI was not bad. I kept falling asleep. I was dreaming in the MRI machine and every once and a while, I would twitch out of it and move. Which you're not supposed to do.

When everything was over, I stood up and looked at the machine. I said, "Wow! If that's the larger machine, I would hate to see the smaller one". After which I was informed that in fact, the larger one was in use, so they decided to use the normal one. I am sooo glad I didn't know that before hand. It's very coffin or morgue like. It was weird.

Peace out....

Smokey Jen's?

I am not sure if that's appropriate. But I made Chickpea Cutlets from Veganomicon this evening. I smoked us out of house and home. We don't currently have a range hood, and I am thinking this will be my project Sunday. They turned out really well.

I am heading to Door County tomorrow to do a girls weekend with some of my boxer rescue girls. It's an annual thing and I can't wait. We typically go to a winery during the day. Come back, veg, eat, swim (after waiting a half hour of course) and hot tub. Then we continue to eat and drink. Sound like the perfect weekend? I hope you are jealous.

I think I am going to take one of the dogs on a ride, get cigarettes, and then go to sleep. I even got laundry done today. How much do I rule?

Not much, I know.

No Sleep Till Brooklyn

I am sooooo seepy. I am hoping that I can go to bed within the next half and hour. Last night I made the mistake of taking a different pill at 3 am. I looked and felt like a zombie today. I am hoping that I fixed it tonight.

Tomorrow I'm going to see a neurologist for my migraines. I have been keeping a kind of diary lately, and of course I haven't had a head ache. Not that I would ever wish for a migraine, but I feel like I should have a recent one to go in with, or something.

I am so tired tonight that I actually skipped practice to sleep. I was really in the mood to hit too, but I neeeed sleep. I seem to like my eeeee's tonight.

I'm thinking this is the dumbest post evah.

My apologies. Actually, I don't give a fuck. I don't need to make sense.

Sleep

I've heard about this sleep. You get to close your eyes, your body and mind repairs itself, sometimes if you're lucky, you get taken away to dream land. If you are really lucky you have good dreams.

Me...? I know nothing of this sleep. Sleep is something that has been coming to me as a struggle. A fight. I think that between yesterday and today I have slept a total of 5 hours. I feel rather narcoleptic. And actually it was probably a total 7 or so hours, I took a nap after work. I have dreams occasionally, and I wouldn't call them nightmares but they are all fucked up. Like my mom has Cosmo's head and it' all makes sense. Or fucking stupid shit like I am roller skating at work. Which isn't that hard to interpret.

So, about the fight between me and sleep. I've enlisted an assistant. It's name is Ambien. Or the generic version. I am feeling rather sleepy. So I am hoping that it is working.

I'm also up and down and up and down. It sucks so bad. It's like I have no recovery time, and in my current state, this isn't a good thing. I actually think I am going to head to bed.

Night My Little Charmers...

Shopping and Other Stuff...

I am pretty sure that I don't belong intermingled with the general public. It's not a good thing. I am not sure what has happened but some where a long the way, manners have become optional. I cannot believe how many people no longer use simple things such as "Please" and "Thank You". I don't know how many times I held the door for someone today and didn't receive acknowledgement. (And I know, I shouldn't be polite for the acknowledgment but a "Thank You" isn't that hard to spit out). No joke, in the grocery store a woman asked if I was planning on getting out of her way anytime soon. I guess she'd rather say that then "Excuse me". Fuck.

The day wasn't a complete wash. I found four pair of jeans at Old Navy. I did break my resolve to not buy new clothes (buying from thrift stores) but now my old jeans will go to Goodwill, so it's not a complete loss.

I also discovered Amy's Toaster Pops. Like Pop-Tarts, but vegan. They are delish. The filling is much more pie-like than I remember Pop-Tarts being. Try them. Or else.

A Few Words on Depression

So as my five readers know, I have been in a little bit of a funk lately. I have been dealing with depression for a while now and going through some changes (I got my period!!! lolz). That sounded funny. What I meant is we are adjusting meds and all kind of fun stuff. In light of this, there are a few things that I think people should know.

1. First off, it's more than being "down" or in a bad mood. It's not like being sad. In fact, unless you've been there it is almost impossible to explain.

2. When a person is diagnosed with depression, they can't just snap out of it. The last thing some one who is depressed wants to hear is why they shouldn't be depressed. I know I have a decent job, a decent husband (most of the time), dogs I love, a sport I love, and a cause I love. I know I shouldn't be depressed.

3. It's not fun to be depressed. We aren't doing it to get attention, to be emo, or because it's cool. No one wants to be depressed.

4. Some people talk very openly about their depression (sometimes me) and some people hide it. Don't push it.

5. It's hard to live with/be friends with/work with some on who is depressed. Here is a really great website with some information.

So...there you have it. Word to your moms.

Meh

That's the only word I can use to describe myself right now. I seem to be stuck in this fucking mood that I can't seem to shake.

The Alkaline Trio song Mr. Chainsaw has a verse that sums up my general sense of being:

I guess I should be one to talk

There's nights that I can't even walk

There's days I couldn't give a fuck

And in between is where I'm stuck

Wow...that's cold.

I am not sure what I was expecting, but man it was really freezing. Possibly colder than I have ever been in my life. Cold enough to make me jump in a hot tub full of men I had never met before (some of them donning banana-hammocks) to warm up.

I am hoping to have some pictures of the event soon. Okay, that's a complete lie. I don't really want to see pictures of myself, but there have been requests.

I will say that I'll probably do it again next year. It was quick and is for a fantastic cause.

I should also be sleeping. I have been having these asinine attacks of insomnia. I don't think the lap top purchase has helped this at all.

I also went to a Brew City Bruisers bout on Saturday night. It was some great derby and a really good time. It was a long day, jumping in the lake and then making the trek to Milwaukee. In a snow storm. With out shoes. Okay. We had shoes.

Ouch...

Practice tonight was rough. Holy man am I sore. I am almost as sore as I was the first time I practiced. We were doing a lot of endurance and speed drills tonight. Which is good because I definitely need to work on that. I think I am getting faster but it is hard to tell. Captains don't often get compliments, they give them. I wonder if some one could tape practice so I could see.

Then when I get home late like this, I am still all wired from practice and hungry. Makes it hard to sleep.

That was a little whiny and woe is me like. I don't want to be woe is me.

I also think that it is important you know that I hate Activia commercials. Seriously, eat enough veggies and fiber and you'll poop. And what exactly does irregular mean? Are we talking frequency? Shape? Amount? I think it is just a stupid way to say constipated. Eat. Veggies.

I am not even sure where my train of thought is right now. I don't think that it has even pulled into the station . Good night my little lambs.

Busy, Busy, Busy

That's me! It's always that way the week before a bout.

Our Valentines Day Love Hurts bout went awesome. We had a great turnout, played some kick ass derby, and had a great time. My family came and some friends who had never seen a bout before. I hope they had fun, I know I did.

I need to start working on my endurance some more. I a not looking forward to this as it most likely involves sprints. And I don't so much like running.

2 Years

So yesterday was my two year veganniversary. I am not sure why I remember the exact date, except that it was a pretty big deal at the time.

Now, people remember to think of me when choosing a restaurant. If some one is baking something, they at least think to ask if there is something I like instead. This year, my boss gave me a mini-diet coke for Christmas, instead of a cookie like everyone else received. It was cute. (I also just realized it sounds like I work in a fucking kindergarten, I don't.)

I still dread holidays and summer cook outs. I still get irked when I get teased. I do get teased much less so that's a plus.

I do have to say, going vegan is one of the best things I have ever done for myself.

Freezin for a Reason...

I am not sure how I got coaxed into this one, but I will be jumping in a frozen lake on February 21st to support the Special Olympics of WI. A bunch of girls and a couple guys from Roller Derby are jumping.


Once again, if you pledge, I will write a blog entry about anything that you request. ONE thing. Unless it's a really big donation, then maybe two. ;)

So thanks in advance for your support.
https://www.specialolympicswisconsin.org/pp09/pledge.asp?id_p=3890